What exactly is a coach? So many people in the current world of social media have this title in their bio… ‘business coach’… ‘weight loss coach’…. ‘life coach’… etc. What about other coaches you’ve had in your life? Have you ever had a coach for athletics? What qualified these people to be a coach? Is it vast experience in the world they’re coaching in? Or is it because they were the only one to volunteer for the job and title? Looking back on my years in athletics I can definitely remember good coaches and bad coaches. Let's dive into what separated the good from the bad.
I want to use my experience in soccer as a way to express the differences. To do that, I need to give you a brief history on my soccer career. I started at 4 years old playing the uncoordinated, bunched up game that resembled soccer only because there were nets, jerseys, a field, and a ball. Growing up I was not every especially gifted at the sport. I worked hard, but when it came to soccer tryouts, I always made the “B” team for my age category. Then one year, my coach moved, leaving only one team that everyone could try out for. I missed the cut, but the coach saw something in me and called another local coach who was building a team in a neighboring town and told him to check me out. Long story short, I went over for a “tryout” and he offered a spot on the team. This coach became one of my biggest positive influences I ever had playing the sport that I loved so much.
This coach, Rich, is a honey badger. Not a large person, but you don't want to mess with him. He was not large in stature, reached 5’4” in his tip toes, and covered in tattoos. But, what he lacked in height, he made up for in heart. The man has a very commanding presence. Rich was an ex navy seal, and our practices reflected his experience in the Navy. We drilled hard, conditioned beyond belief, but most of all enjoyed our experience. What made Rich such an amazing coach was not his brilliant plays, skill with a ball, or his ability to make us run until we puked. What made him an amazing coach was he took time to make sure each of his athletes was doing well. From family to school to physical health, it all mattered to him. He was also encouraging.
I played on 4 teams with Rich. The unconfident player I used to be was no more. This was because he placed a lot of the responsibility for the team on my shoulders and trusted me to guide them . His belief in me shaped me into a leader on and off the field. This led to 5 colleges expressing interest in me to play for them for scholarship opportunities.
Now let’s contrast my experience playing for Rich and playing for my high school team. Don’t think that I didn’t enjoy my coaches for my high school team, I did like them. However, trying out for my high school team involved playing and trying out with the guys who all made the team that I got cut from the first year I played with Rich. Due to self doubt, insecurities, and the fact I was playing against guys who’d played together since we were all young, I never tried out well. I became, as my coach called it, a “bubble player”. This meant that I was seen as having only enough skills to really play the bench. With this becoming the ideology around my ability to play, I never got playing time, and when I did, I’d make stupid mistakes.
My senior year, I was actually cut from the varsity high school team. Rich had become the coach for one of our rival high schools and they were coming to our school for a game. I was catching up with Rich right before the game and he asked me, "are you injured?" It took me a second to realize that he was asking because I was not wearing a uniform. The potential of me not making the team hadn’t even crossed his mind. Needless to say, he was rather upset that I got cut because he knew my abilities.
As senior year progressed, some of the players from my high school team received offers to play college soccer. The number who got offers was not very high. It was at this point that I realized my skill level was more accurate in the eyes of Rich, rather than my high school coach. Getting one offer is amazing, and I got 5.
The biggest difference between these two coaching experiences is the belief that the coaches had in my abilities and in my ability to grow. The coaches ability to communicate with me and their assumptions dictated my performance.
This is why I take such pride in my title as a fitness coach. I see so much potential in my clients. Often times, they don’t see the potential in themselves. Having someone to believe in your ability to achieve your fitness goal can massively affect your success. The difference becomes someone who helps you get through the struggles, the weight gain, the failures you experience, and the insecurities you have. So many times, coaches take the title not because they are a coach, but because they self identify as a coach. Being a coach is not a title, it is a personality trait.
So next time you are in the market for a coach, choose someone who’s going to be your version of Rich. Don’t choose the high school coach.
Author: Chris Whalen
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